我让你

As the title states, it means that, I'll let you, I will take one step back to fulfill you and your desires. For your sake, I will let go of what used to be mine. For your benefits, I sacrifice myself. Take my place, for your own advantages. Just, take it, stay, and I'll leave. 

Just wrapped up my semester one finals yesterday afternoon. Last paper was physics, it turned out way tougher than all the past year papers I did total up, and crazy short of time during the exam itself. I screwed it up just like how I did for Advanced Mathematics, there's nothing much I can do about it. I really pray for the best for my mates and myself. Now that semester break has begun, daily routines will change, and goals to achieve will continue its progress. Long before my finals, I was already drooling for carefree days like these. Now that I have finally struggled and dragged myself through a semester, thinking that I could finally get back to work without worrying about exams and 8AM lectures, but life just has to be such a fucktard, another bitch has found its way into my life. 

I am so fucking tired, and I have been repeating this again and again. I have no idea why you would do this, but its your decision and your rights so, go ahead. I'm pretty damn sure you did not consider ANY of the consequences of your actions. You have never thought of what your decision will cause, and what others feel about it.You are indeed selfish, inconsiderate, and again, self-centered. You don't care what others say. Even if you did ask for my opinion, but behind everything, you have already made a decision of your own, assuming that people are stupid, people won't find out about it. Hello, I'm not stupid you know. The things that you don't want me to find out, I know it the moment you do it. Trying to make everyone else a fool and you be the winner? Yeah, you won. The game is yours, everyone else died, victory goes to you. Bravo, you are awesome. Amazingly beautiful, but stabbing me deep in my heart.  So much love, so much lies. 

I was waiting for the day you would officially clarify whatever you've been hiding back there. Waiting, and waiting. Nope, no fucks given. So much gossiping, and underdogs back there, like I stupid like that. Seriously? Sigh. I already stood firm w myself, I said no. Since you insists, all I could now, is leave. There's are many reason why so, but you won't understand and you won't  listen anyway. I know it best where these  reasons come from, and I know I have made a wise decision for leaving. Just go ahead, have all the fun you want, I'm alright man. 

I bet you're tired of this, right. Trust me, I'm more disappointed and tired than you. I don't know how long more I can hold on, but I hope you're trying. Everytime I ask if there's anything you have not told me, you say no. It's so heartbreaking to hear that, but just as the saying goes. Some people are like pieces of sandpaper, they may be rough to deal with, but in the end of the day, you will be sharpened, while they remain as a piece of useless sandpaper. Beautifully quoted, absolutely accurate. Not sure will you be reading this, but if you are, please do keep it to yourself, just as what you have been doing.. all these while.