Thursday, 24 March 2016

Options?

Sorry guys, this is not gonna be a happy blog post so leave before we get all emotional. I already am but I don't want this to be a reason you smile less.

Options, choices. It's always good to have more than an option, right?  How about being an option? People choose you, people do not choose you too. This world has its evilest way of killing you, by making you someone's option, and just in case you don't feel the pain, you are made second option. 

Come to think of it, being someone's option AT LEAST, makes everything sound better. Yes, this is exactly how the world kills you and burns you an inch deeper as if you are not dead enough. I thought I had never been a thinker, but I guess the thinker in me is growing up. Here I am, spilling things on a fucking blog instead of doing the real shit. 

If I have to be the second option, can I not be an option at all? Because both hurt equally, after all. Left hand side equals to right hand side, bingo, they both stab you equally deep, maybe just at a different rate and with different weapons. Comparatively, not being an option should be the less deadly one. Slightly less, I guess? 

Waking up in the morning thinking that you're Not an option gives you a reason to stop all expectations. But waking up day after day, still believing that you Are the second/third/fourth/fifth/last option, really can tear you up into shredded pieces when expectation are too far to realize. In other words, as long as you still hold onto being 'an option', most of the time you'll be fucked left right center when you don't get what you want. 

How much more cruel can this world be? Everytime something like this hits me, I thought it was the worst things can be. I thought okay, this is so bad nothing can be worse. But the world is spinning, same goes to us. Things come and go, what stays will be, lessons? experience? I don't know. Hurt, yes that stays. It stays, it sinks in eventually. 

I know I look strong like someone you cannot hurt. Sorry, but I will be the one you hurt the most when you think you did no shit. Keep hurting me, my blood shall stain you like lessons. Let see how it goes. 

If I'm second option, make me zero option. 

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